Letting go

Everyday there is a new challenge and a new obstacle to tackle. I realize that I need to start letting somethings go and let myself open up. I have put up walls for so long that it will take sometime to let people in and grow as a person. Especially with the ones I love. I have often hid certain things that are too painful to talk about. I am so thankful to have my children and that I get to spend everyday with them and see them on a routine basis. I may wish to see them more but I realize that anytime with them is better than none. My daughter Willow has been sick recently and it has put things into perspective that I am one lucky mommy. Xander is such a bright young man with a lot of potential. I only wish I could give more to my kids. That is all I can write for now, time to try to get a little more sleep.

The American Dream

One day I wish to live in a house. Why is it that the american dream is not attainable currently? I would love to live in a house with my kids and have a dog. My children deserve to have a place to call home for a long time to come and not have to move because of leases and lack of space. We are view our country as such a powerful and knowledgeable country. It is not the truth. We are behind in education, infrastructure, and industry. If we want to step it up as a country we need to focus on these things in order to progress a a country. Well I have to cut this one short, the kids are needing some attention.

Undergraduate disappointment

I find that my degree is pointless, a piece of paper someone gave me to say that I did go to school. I don't use my degree, it just sits in a closet and collects dust. It makes me sad that I can't use such a wonderful skill like spanish in my job everyday. I want to strive to be happy in my job and be able to do more with my life to help not only myself but my children. I owe a ton of money for schooling that is not even useful at this point. I feel a little mislead because I was not given the proper instruction on how I could use my degree or how to obtain a job contoured to my skill set. So what can we do? I am trying now to use different avenues so that my degree may be useful but I have a lot of road blocks and obstacles in my way. I need to find someone to speak spanish with everyday so I can keep up on my skills. I am a great teacher and the girl I tutor every week has improved drastically since I have started tutoring her. I just hope that all the doors will open and I will be able to speak spanish on a daily basis.

A Deadbeat nation

We strive to try to become better people through education and training. All of my education seems to be a waste. I could not protect myself from a deadbeat who not only never sees his kid but he also never financially supports his son. Why do you think you can just make a child and have nothing more to do with them? I had my DNA test, it is not like you have doubts if it is yours or not. I think that you are immature and have no sense of responsibility, not only to your child but yourself. Your parents have coddled you and given you so much but they did you no justice. You are unable to accept responsibility for your actions. Our nation is full of deadbeat dads and moms. I have a deadbeat mom, I wish she could be there for me more and not look at me as an inconvenience. We need to install in our children the sense of responsibility. There will probably be more ranting on this topic but my mind is too tired to think right now.